Happy Birthday to my wife!

August 23 is a busy, exciting day at our house. It's Cathy's birthday, for one, which makes it one of the highlights of the year. For the past three years, it has also coincided with Orientation Week with the arriving international students I work with. In 2009, I wasn't able to be present for Cathy's birthday since I had just moved to Virginia; the past two years we've been in the same town, though I've been pretty busy during that time. Thankfully, she's greatly understanding; it does give us a chance to celebrate during the preceding and following days. :) For instance, tonight we went to a picnic for all the new international students and spent time visiting with them and some of my colleagues. Not exactly the cozy, romantic setting, but we had fun.

And that's one of the great things about this great woman: her ability to enjoy being, with or without frills, regardless of situations, circumstances, or settings. We don't have to go all out or fancy things up; simplicity is a close and good companion with her. Beyond that, she's incredibly intelligent, strikingly beautiful, joyfully happy, sweetly hopeful, and constantly romantic. I love her for her humor, joy, kindness, and gentleness. She's a Shakespeare star and scholar, but her depth of knowledge goes far beyond; I'm challenged, encouraged, enlightened, and cheered with her in my life. I'm thankful for the marriage we have and can't wait for the many celebrations to come.

I love you, Cathy!!

Looking forward

New years haven't always been exciting for me. I've never really been much for resolutions and have attempted to give each day its special place, which hasn't left too much room or space for making a big deal about the turning of a year. Not to say I've been bah-humbug about those things, but it's not held a special status or momentous occasion for me.

However, there is an excitement about 2011 that is pretty new to me, and I think it stems from entering a new year with my sweet wife. On our drive back home Sunday, we tossed around innumerable ideas, plans, and thoughts about things we'd like to do this year. I haven't tried to make a list of them yet, but when I do, it's going to be quite lengthy. We know we'll be in good shape if we're able to incorporate four or five of them over the course of the year, but it was fun dreaming about different things we'd like to tackle and/or get involved in.

That's one of the many things I love about Cathy: she elicits creativity and imagination. It's fun to dream about what could be, to laugh through our silly suggestions, and to enjoy everything in between. We had a lot of fun on that drive discussing 2011 and I can't wait to see what it has in store.

Happy Birthday, Mom

I'm thankful today for my mom. I'm grateful for the countless things she's taught me, the encouragement and love she's given, and the faithful support she's provided. I think she's incredibly creative and talented; she's very considerate and thoughtful. Sometimes she doesn't give herself enough credit for the person that she is or the constant impact that she makes on people. I see her humility, kindness, and willingness to serve and want to have that same spirit and disposition. I and many others have been greatly blessed by her...happy birthday to you, Mom!

A good neighbor

I was unloading some of the first boxes we'd packed and taken over to the townhouse. I noticed a washing machine sitting on the sidewalk in front of our neighbor's place for a couple of days. They were getting rid of it at some point and had apologized for it being out there. It wasn't a problem to us; it didn't block anything and we knew about lack of space for storing things. As I was unloading, the husband of the family came out and looked like he was going to attempt to load it to take it to the dumpster area, so I asked if I could help him out.

I thought this was a great chance to show kindness and start off our time at our new place on the right foot. He accepted and we lifted and loaded the washing machine to his boat, which he hooked up to his vehicle and transported away. It was relatively easy for us to knock it out and I walked away feeling pretty good about myself, thinking I'd demonstrated a willingness to notice when someone needed help and selflessly offering my services.

The next week, the battery in Cathy's car died. We were trying to figure out if it really was the battery when the wife of the family next stepped out and offered us her husband's device that read and charged batteries. She wasn't too sure how to use, but I tried and hooked it up, but I didn't know what I was doing. She said we could knock on their door later in the afternoon when he got home and he could help us out.

After I got off work, I was trying to figure out again if it was the battery or not. The husband came out and offered help, but I declined. I said I was going to wait until the next day to figure it out. He said he could hook up his battery charger and see if that worked, but I thought I could deal with it on my own. I went to Walmart to buy a battery, but they oddly didn't have one for the year of our CRV. I came back and decided I'd go to another store in the morning before work and deal with it then. (It should be noted that Cathy would have been thrilled if we'd just jumped the car off and driven it back to our apartment.)

The next morning, I bought a battery and brought it over to the new place, bringing along my wife, who's not a big fan of early mornings, especially when this could have been fixed before. As I tried to take the old battery out, I discovered that the tools I had weren't working -- I needed a different one to unscrew the screw that kept the battery in place. Frustrated that I couldn't fix it, we set up the jumper cables and got her car started. We drove to an auto shop and the mechanic there easily unscrewed the troubled screw and put in the new battery, without breaking a sweat or charging us.

As I've reflected on those two experiences, I've seen how pride and independence can be debilitating forces in relationships and interactions with others. It's also reminded me about having good ideas but not necessarily the actions to follow them up. I like the idea of being a good neighbor, but I don't think I execute that idea very well yet. I could have saved myself a lot of trouble and frustration if I'd merely allowed a good deed to be returned to me. I could have saved my wife some frustration as well. Instead, I wanted to do it  on my own, without help from anyone.

Being a good neighbor is much more than offering to help; it's being willing to be helped that may be even more important. Allowing someone else, whether it's a neighbor next door or your spouse, to give you help and assistance is vital to the success of that relationship. If all I do is give and don't allow someone else to do the same, I'm denying them the opportunity to serve. And I may be communicating that I'm too good or smart or independent to need something from them, which is such a hurtful message.

So, I'll keep my eye out for more opportunities to offer help. I'll keep looking to do good to others. But more than that, I'll be more aware of the times I need help and give them the chance they give me.